Are you a Super-woman?

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Are you a Super-woman?

I thought a lot before posting this but then I decided it's not about one or two women, it's literally the story of almost every desi mommy and it needs to be talked about, to have people read it, be aware about it and do something about it whatever they can do with the best of their capabilities.

So, are you a super woman? you might put this label on yourself very happily, yes, thinking that you can do everything and that makes you a super woman. You can never say 'no' to anybody but you are at peace with it. You want to be an all-rounder, making sure everything is done perfectly so you work like a Robot!

You try to manage the situations where many people would expect many things from you simultaneously and yet, you would work your ass off to meet the expectations of all of them, you sweat buckets but you make sure they get what they asked and they will think of you as a 'Superwoman' and this title would make you do more and more.

Then, there would be situations where you would realize that the demand of the situation is much above your individual capability, you'll get tensed but because you can't say 'no' and you are a 'superwoman', you'll even take that as a challenge despite your zero energy and strength, you will successfully accomplish the tasks and you will stand strong for others because they need you and once again you'll b crowned as a 'superwoman'.

There would be times when few of your nears and dears or genuinely sincere people will tell you that you need to learn to say 'no' at times but you will look them as negative people and you will continue doing more and more happily because this is what you are!

And a time would come when your heart will no longer be at peace. You'll not happily do things anymore. You will feel hurt, being used and weak. You'll realize that you have done it to yourself, yes you yourself have done the damage!! You have ignored yourself since a long time that now it doesn't matter to anyone as well.

Now, when this realization has occured, you would feel uncomfortable and would like to tell this so loudly to anybody like your husband but you fear that it might frustrate him too. Now you really wanna say 'no', but you fear that you would no longer be a 'good girl' of the family. You will miss yourself, you will badly need some 'me time' but you won't be able to do it because somehow it would become a part of your personality and I know saying 'no' is way too hard if people have too much expectations from you!

Later on in your life, you would regret it thinking you might not have worked too hard and save your energies and would have said 'no', and you could be in a very good health.

I know that typing this easy then saying 'no' in real but this post is just to aware people that if you won't say no, you'll consume yourself. You'll do this all day and then while completely ignoring yourself, you'll look after your kids and when you will take your kid to your room finally, you will be like 'Oh God, my room looks like a mess' and then you will try to make it look tip top and ship shape. You'll look in the mirror and you'll think this is not what you used to be. Even if you'll buy expensive beauty creams, nothing will work on you because it's not the problem with your face, it's the problem with your mind and body, the calmness and relaxation is missing, that made you look so dull. You'll overthink and it will lead you to depression..

Ladies/Mommies, if you are going through this situation please try to prioritize yourself. Be nice to others, respect them but respect yourself as well. I know its really hard to do in real but it's high time we should discuss this and if you're not going through this situation, kindly look around yourself if somebody is in this boat, please try to give them ease, don't burdenize them and Allah will give you ease In Shaa Allah!
So, you gonna tell me now, are you a super woman? or a Robot, You're just a 'people pleaser' nothing else. Next time anybody tells you that you're a superwoman, please step back and say "No please, I'm a human being"

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  1. Well said dear..... I completely agree with your thoughts, sometimes in love and care we go beyond our capabilities to give someone comfort and happiness but that in return cost us as well sometime in a different ways. For our own health and peacefulness only we are responsible not others.... So you are right we have to prioritize our lives.... And yes i'm not a superwoman, 😆 i'm being human, who has a luxury of making mistake sometimes but also learning from those mistakes as well 😊

    1. Thanks for visiting dear and for giving feedback. it really means a lot to me and yes, it goes for both genders, we all can make mistakes :-) keep visiting!

  2. I guess you become a super woman when step up in your practical life. And its the only option you have. It isn't coincide with your status being married or being a mommy. Its when you own a responsibility to cater the expectations of the people around you. And obviously you can't be perfect anyway, either you neglect yourself or others. So its ok. Don't be afraid. 'To err is human' we are human beings not angels.

    1. I used to think like that before but now I don't think we don't have any other option. we think that way because it's culturally so normal to be like that but sometimes, when we're not capable of doing, we should have the option of respectfully refusing. Thanks for visiting :-)